"But we don’t want any strangers at our birth."

This statement comes to mind strongly when someone suggests hiring a doula. How well do you know your midwives? What about the obstetrician? If you're not working in a maternity hospital, you probably don't know the staff who will be there during your birth. But you'll get to know your doula.

When we started expecting our first child and I told my partner I wanted a doula, he naturally first asked what that meant. Then came the comment about not wanting a stranger at the birth. When I, as the birthing person, am likely to be naked (oh my goodness!), it's a pretty strange concept to have a non-intimate person there. Anyone other than my partner, that is.

There's definitely a valid point to that, which I can agree with, even though I'm a doula myself. A doula is, in that sense, a non-intimate person because their presence can be a little disruptive to the birth process, potentially causing things to slow down when they first arrive in the birthing space. The same goes for any staff member at the hospital.

As I explained to my partner, a doula is at least a familiar face when labor begins (except for those last-minute doula calls), someone who knows you and your wishes. A doula is there for the duration of your birth, providing support to you and your chosen support person. You've prepared for this moment together, and the doula is there to help protect your birthing bubble.

For us, having a doula present during the hospital birth was incredibly important. Both of our children's births ended with emergency C-sections, which meant my partner suddenly had to take on a much larger role during those early moments than he had anticipated. Having the doula there with him, offering her calm and empathetic presence, eased some of the anxiety for this new parent. It was also so comforting to wake up in recovery and see my familiar doula sitting there beside me.

So, a doula isn't a stranger; in my opinion, they're a wonderful and amazing resource!

<3 Henna